


I will remember you (the way you are right now)

by bellofthetolppl



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Season/Series 01, and ends up needing help himself, basically lol idk dont come at me guys, bellamy tries to save everyone, doctor!clarke, hurt!bellamy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-17 10:18:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13656966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellofthetolppl/pseuds/bellofthetolppl
Summary: When the medbay catches fire in the middle of the night, Bellamy's the first one to get in the burning building and take everyone out, including a feisty annoying blond princess that makes his life ten times harder than it already is.Based on this tumblr prompt:good shit: when a character with a reputation for being selfish and uncaring gets injured while doing something to protect othersgood shit: when they pretend they’re not injured and did nothing to protect anyone, because they want to keep up that selfish reputationgood shit: when the characters they were protecting only find out about any of this when the character collapses from the injuries they’re trying to hide





	1. Sleeping habits

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hey, guys! Sooo, I wrote this more or less as a joke after reblogging this prompt and honestly I only write canon stuff in headcanons but I decided to try and do a fic this time. I originally planned this as a one-shot, but I actually wrote a second chapter to it that is more fluffy in a way and I guess if you guys like this I'll post it, but if not this serves as a complete story too.

Bellamy Blake loved sleeping. 

He’s never been that much of a sleeper back on the Ark, constantly having to worry about every little sound that came from the room next to theirs or jumping at the voices in the hallways. He’d always press Octavia closer to his chest whenever a noise even bothered to shake the air around him, as if he could protect her from every bad thing there was out there.

On earth…well, he’d admit he had the illusion that he might get a little bit more rest down here but those dreams were all shattered when they were thrown in the unknown, on the wrong mountain and suddenly a hundred teenagers including a short and feisty blond princess with a certain attitude, were all looking up to him.

So yeah, getting sleep was definitely a no-go. He had little hope that something would change, but for the past eight months he had barely managed to get about five hours every night and he was sadly starting to get used to it.

Now, though…now he really desperately needed sleep. After he spend the previous day chopping woods in the forest with some of the boys so they could keep up with the construction of the small cabins and then accompanying Clarke to the river for more seaweed (there were a few sick kids even now, at the end of a pretty chilly spring and the dawn of a new summer), he needed at least a good seven-hours of sleep. 

Building a solid camp for a hundred kids, including a relatively big mess hall, a kitchen and a medbay for the princess (which was the first building they completed) wasn’t an easy job and even if he didn’t want to admit it, it was taking its toll on him. 

Every muscle in his body hurt and he had this particularly nasty pain in his right shoulder that pulled at him whenever he raised his arm. It was annoying and made him so cranky that his own sister preferred spending more time with Lincoln exploring Trikru land and his cave (and hopefully nothing else, Bellamy prayed) than spending time with him. 

Even Clarke who was herself a little bit too annoyed due to the recent heat wave, had scolded him today for giving Sterling too much of a hard time.

He was dreaming of axes, woods, the smell of river and annoying blond princesses poking their fingers in his rock solid chest, when he felt someone shaking him and calling his name.

“Bellamy! Bellamy, wake up!” he distinctly registered Jasper’s voice and moaned, rolling on his other side.

“Get the fuck out of here, Jasper. I’ll fix the gate tomorrow!” he mumbles, burying his face in the pillow and registering the loud voices coming from outside. Great. Were they having a party again? He’d have to restrict it to once, or two times a week tops.

“It’s not the gate” Jasper shakes him again and he rolls on his back with a groan, staring up at the worried scrawny kid ”There’s a fire. The medbay’s on fire!”

“What?” Bellamy jumps from his cot and rubs the back of his head trying to make sense of what the kid was saying ”What do you mean the medbay’s on fire?” he grunts in poor Jasper’s face while the kid’s entire composure is practically shaking whether it was due to waking their leader up or the fire Bellamy had no idea. 

He could distinctly register a burning smell, though and he pushed Jasper aside, only to run outside his tent. 

It was true what Jasper said-the medbay building located left from the dropship was burning. Most of the left side wall was almost completely enveloped in flames whilst the rest of it, for now was seemingly fine. Not for long, though. 

Bellamy threw his jacket over and looked around-the air smelled of chaos and panic. Screaming kids, running up and down some of them crying, some of them carrying useless amounts of water and throwing it far from the real direction of the fire. 

It was a mess.

“Bellamy!” he heard Miller’s voice and in a second his best friend was by his side, his face already stained from the smoke, he must’ve been one of those trying to put it out, breathing heavily.

“Miller, I need you to gather all the water supplies we have and move them closer to the fire!” he orders, getting himself together right away and trying to figure out a way to beat this. Those kids depended on him, there was no time for panic .

”Get all the buckets we have and five or six from the stronger kids, mostly the guards Sterling, Monroe, Jason, someone who’s not afraid of the fire and start trying to put it out, okay?” Miller nodded in understanding.

“Do we know who’s inside?” he asks him and Miller swallows hard, brushing the sweat from his forehead.

“I think five or six kids, a few that were sick and some with injuries.” Bellamy nods curtly, trying not to give his worry away.

“Monty’s inside too!” Jasper’s worried voice echoes once again and Bellamy realizes only now why he was so scared in the first place. He was afraid of losing his friend ”Bellamy, you have to-”

“I’ll get him, I promise!” Bellamy squeezes his shoulder briefly before turning to Miller ”Can you get Clarke for me?” Miller’s eyes widen a little and his eyes avoid Bellamy’s for just a second before meeting them again.

“She’s inside with them.”

Fuck. Great. 

Of course she’s inside with them, that’s what the stupid princess always did-she checked on every kid before going to bed and sometimes, if they were bad and needed her throughout the night, she slept there. He knows, because he’s dragged her an extra cot and even spared some of his own blankets so she can have some warm and decent place to sleep, last week.

“Do what I told you. Now!” he orders Miller once again and heads in the direction of the building. 

He could hear the boys screaming something at him, probably asking what is he doing, but before anyone can stop him, he’s running in the half-burning building, covering his mouth with the side of his jacket brought closer to his face and blinking hard, trying to make sense of his surroundings in the middle of the smoke rising as high as the rooftop. 

It wasn’t a big building, he thinks to himself, and it wasn’t the most secure. But how was he supposed to secure a place on earth where he didn’t even basic necessities or technology? 

Just as he was beating himself up and trying to make his way through, jumping over the fire, he heard a scream.

A second later, he was facing his favorite, making-his-ass-a-living-hell blond, standing right before a group of kids, huddled in the safest and still not burning corner.

“Bellamy!” she screamed and he realized, he hadn’t heard her yell his name with such desperation since that time she fell in the river and almost drowned because she was desperately trying to get more seaweed for some sick kid. 

He still remembers the panic freezing his entire being and his shaky hands trying to pump the water out her lungs. It was one of the scariest moments of his life. 

This was the second. He briefly wondered how many more his heart could take before it gives up.

“It’s fine, it will be okay” he tries to settle them down, seeing all the kids behind her either crying or looking around with the most terrified expressions on their faces ”Come on, princess, I need to get you out of here” he grabbed her hands and starts tugging her, well-aware of the fact that they didn’t have much time before this whole building caught fire and collapsed right on top of them.

“No!” she fights him. Of course, she does. It won’t be Clarke Griffin if she doesn’t pull up a fight even in the middle of a fucking fire! He doesn’t have time for this, though, so he keeps dragging her to the door despite her protests 

”Bellamy, no! You need to get them first!” he turns around angrily, trying very hard to suppress a groan.

“Princess, I don’t have time for this, I need to get you outside!”

“Bellamy-”

“No! No, you don’t get to fight me! Not right now! You’re a doctor, this camp needs you, these kids need you to survive! I’m not having this argument right now!”

“But-” he doesn’t even let her finish, he leans down and picks her up on his shoulder (bad shoulder, fuck it he has to bite back his lips from the pain) and starts running to the entrance before it has disappeared in fire and smoke, completely. 

He is already feeling his lungs fill with smoke and both him and Clarke start coughing while he makes his way outside. He drops her off on the ground and into Miller’s hands.

“Don’t let her go inside! I don’t care if you have to tie her to a tree, just don’t let her in!” he orders and Miller grabs her by the waist because the moment she’s free, she tries to run back towards medbay.

Predictable, Bellamy thinks. Just as he’s about to dive back in she grabs his hands and begs him.

“Bellamy, please, save them!” he nods curtly and heads right in. 

When he goes back to the kids he makes a quick estimation-there are six of them, two are younger-eleven and twelve, Peter and Kira, who got sick earlier this week, he can easily take them both out. The rest of them are two girls-Janet and Harriet, a boy Steven and Monty, who seemed to be in the best shape of them all-he got a bad ankle spray yesterday and he couldn’t walk but otherwise was fine and assures him he can be last.

So he starts taking them out as fast as he can-first the kids, he uses the wet blankets Miller gave him to wrap them up and though he thought they’d cry and scream while he carried them outside, they were just whimpering loudly and basically digging their nails in his arms from trying hard to hold on, begging him not to drop them.

Then come the girls, he can’t carry both of them so it has to be one by one, but he’s swift, as much as he can be. The fire burns his lungs and by the time he has Harriet outside, he’s coughing his lungs out and struggling to catch his breath. 

He distinctly registers Clarke and Miller welcoming him every time he gets outside, grabbing the kids and taking them to safety while also passing him yet another wet blanket. 

It’s still full-blown chaos when he goes back for the fifth time, well aware that the fire is rapidly growing despite the kid’s attempts to put it out from the outside. 

When he picks up Steven, who is too sick to walk and starts running to the entrance, Bellamy notices that one of the beams from the roof is about to fall and though he struggles to run faster, it catches his shoulder just as he’s about to escape it. He falls on his knees with the kid in his hands and Steven cries out while Bellamy squeezes his eyes and remembers to command his arms to hold the boy and tries to shake off the pain in his burning shoulder. His eyes are tearing up, he’s barely seeing before him and he feels himself growing weaker by the second, but somehow he manages to take Steven outside.

“Are you done? Is it all of them?” Miller asks frantically when he sees the state Bellamy’s in.

“Bellamy you need to stop! It’s dangerous!” Clarke grabs his arm as the fire makes a loud bang behind them probably from yet another part of the building collapsing but he shakes his head and looks up at her with teary eyes while he coughs loudly.

“Just Monty!” he promises and tears himself apart from her. 

He hears her yell his name but he doesn’t turn around, he can’t. 

His mind is loud and roaring as the fire he dives into and somewhere at the back of his mind he thinks that if he dies now, the last thing he told Octavia is that she never spends time with him anymore or that he had a stupid fight with Clarke over rations before he went to bed and somehow he feels stupid but also maybe…that’s the way it is supposed to be for him-to die in a stupid fire with no one actually giving a fuck about him.

He finds Monty pressing his back to the corner, watching the fire with wide scared eyes. The moment he sees him, he breaths a sigh of relief and coughing Bellamy makes his way over to him and throws the wet blanket on his skinny shoulders.

“Ready to get out of here, kid?” he asks in a fail attempt to cheer up the awful situation they are both in and then helps him move up to his feet. He soon realizes that they’ll be too slow, trying to walk like that, Monty’s ankle is still not healed and he’s limping heavily. 

Bellamy feels himself suffocating, assuming that he’s probably inhaled a lot of smoke by now and that he won’t be able to hold on if they are even a few minutes late, so he picks him up and with whatever strength he has left, carries him out of the burning building.

Once they are outside, he collapses on his knees while Clarke and Miller pick Monty from his arms. He vaguely registers her saying something about coming to her, but he can’t make sense of it. 

Once alone again, he smiles to himself for barely a second, thinking how he made it, he saved them and they’re all going to be alright, before he feels Monroe’s hand on his shoulder.

“Bellamy?” she doesn’t voice her question but he just nods, assuring her he’s fine and stands up. 

It wasn’t over-they had still to put the fire out, so he grabs one of the buckets from her hands and though he feels his struggle to breathе and has troubles even talking right now, he tries helping them out. 

For the most part, they’ve actually succeeded in containing the burning monster and with his help and some positive yelling as well as a few of the kids bringing extra water from the river, they manage to put it out. For the most part.

Bellamy leaves them when he’s sure no one else is in eminent danger and heads wobbling to his tent.

He struggles to breathe, feels himself actually unable to pull air through his throat at all, so he stops for a second and leans with his hands on his knees, trying to get his dizziness and complete delusion under control but there are dark spots in front of his eyes and he feels himself swinging dangerously close to the ground. 

In the last possible moment someone’s strong hands grab and steady him and he looks up to find a very blurred version of who must be Miller.

“Hey, you alright?” he asks and Bellamy squeezes his eyes as he tries to raise himself up. He staggers again and Miller shoves his arm under his shoulders, desperate to steady him ”Woah, Bellamy, man, what’s up?”

“Just get me to my tent” he begs, not recognizing his own voice, his chest feels so heavy he barely draws in any air at all. 

Miller somehow manages to get him to his relatively spacious tent and he almost drops to the ground before he makes it in his cot, however once he’s down, he groans and closes his eyes, still trying to catch his breath. 

He hears Miller ask something, takes his face in his shaky hands, but despite his attempts, he can’t make out the words.

“I’m fine” he utters ”Go check on the others” with that he closes his eyes and when he doesn’t hear Miller fight him over his orders, he sighs and feels his head drop to the side.

Rest. Finally. He can rest. 

He’d just close his eyes for a second, sleep it off and be good as new tomorrow, he tries to convince himself, but at the back of his mind, he feels like it’s a little too hard to breathe and every other minute a violent cough shakes his body so hard that he can’t really let himself fall asleep. 

It’s a strange place between reality and delusion, he can’t make much sense of anything besides the awful pain in his chest that feels like that one time Jasper and Miller sat on top of him during one of their drunken parties and Clarke shooshed them away when she realized they were going to suffocate him.

He’s brought back from his dream-like state when he feels someone’s small hands roaming all over his face.

“Bellamy! Bellamy! Goddammit!” he hears the familiar voice and when he looks up he finds Clarke angrily looking down at him, Miller trailing uncomfortably behind her, afraid to look Bellamy in the eye even when he’s in this state. 

Bellamy tries to speak up but instead another violent cough shatters his body and when he opens his eyes again, it’s only to find Clarke trying to take off his jacket

”What the hell did you do, you idiot, your shoulder’s burnt!”

Oh right, that too. He had forgotten all about that while struggling to breathe. 

Next thing he knows, Miller is helping her sit him up and take off his jacket and shirt. His eyes manage to focus on Clarke’s tired angry face and he feels a stab of guilt when he sees her like that-she shouldn’t be here, she should be back with the kids.

“I’m-I’m-” he struggles to talk, his voice doesn’t even sound like his own anymore and he coughs up loudly again ”I’m fine, go back to the kids.”

“You’re not fine!” she cuts him off angrily as she pushes his chest down to the cot, which turns out to be a mistake because the burned wound on his shoulder screams with pain the moment it touches the sheets underneath him 

”Fuck! Sorry!” he smiles while Miller helps maneuver him to his healthy side.

“Didn’t know you cursed, princess” Bellamy tries joking to light up the mood but she ignores him and a few seconds later he opens up his eyes when he feels something tickling him and finds her trying to press her ear to his chest. 

He wants to say something snarky but yet another cough interrupts him and he can’t even curse at that. 

“He inhaled too much smoke” she shakes her head and turns to Miller ”I need you to bring me water, whatever bandages you can manage to get that haven’t burned in the fire and find Octavia.”

”I don’t think she’s in camp” Miller utters back worriedly and she bites her lip.

“Then send someone for her. She needs to ask Lincoln if he knows of any plant that can help with smoke inhalation” Miller nods ”Don’t come back without her, alright?” Bellamy smiles at the tone of her voice and once Miller is off the tent and Jasper comes in a few minutes later bringing all the stuff she’s asked for so she can treat his wound, they are all alone.

It’s fun watching her work. He’s often taken the time to observe the way she changes from natural born leader to a carer, a doctor. 

Despite her protest that she wasn’t a real one, he refused to acknowledge it-she might not be a perfect healer, but she knew a lot and even with the meager supplies they had when they landed, she has managed to keep them safe. 

It’s not only that-she kept striving to be better-she spent two weeks last month studying under Nyko, the Trikru healer, writing down plants and concoctions, different herbs from which she can make medical teas or ways of dealing with various diseases that had spread on earth. 

Bellamy has actually been the one to take her there in the morning and bring her back in the evening. He always smiled when he went to pick her up, because she looked in this adorably tired princessy way with her hair sticking in every direction, her shirt sweaty and dirty, sometimes covered in blood, and her mood down in the gutter. 

He’d bring her a sandwich, an apple, berries, anything he could steal from their improvised kitchen under the watchful eye of none other than John Murphy and smile whenever she yawned tiredly. On more than one occasion he had to grab her arm and support her because she would trip or almost fall down. 

That one time, he actually carried her in his arms after she tripped more than fifteen times on even ground. He just couldn’t take it, moreover he enjoyed her yells a little too much when he swiped her up in his arms and started walking them back to camp. Her protests had eventually died out as his pace lulled her to sleep and he brought her through the gates with her head resting on his chest and her eyes closed.

Now, though, now she wasn’t tired. He watched as she gathered her hair in a tight bun, rolled the sleeves of her ragged shirt (he made a mental note of getting her a new one from the bunker if he made it through the night), dipping her hands in the water and a minute later he felt an excruciating pain when she started cleaning up the burn.

He grit his teeth and tried to take it but god it hurt so much and it was so hard to keep himself together with this stubborn cough shaking him ever other minute or so. 

“You’re an idiot!” she shook her head as she started wrapping his shoulder up ”You’re such a stupid, enormously stubborn, hot-headed, brainless asshole!” he managed to chuckle at that but was again interrupted by another cough.

“Had to know you’d still find something to blame me for, even when I saved all your asses.” he manages in between ragged breaths and feels himself growing even more tired. God, he really wished he could take that good sleep right about now.

“Why did you have to be the hero, huh?” she keeps mumbling angrily as she tightens the bandages ”Why? Why couldn’t you let me help too? You’re such a thick-headed-”

“I told you, kids need you” he cuts her off before she can keep on with her rant ”They can survive without me, but not without you” she stops for a second and looks at him to find him staring seriously at her.

“That’s not true.”

“It is.” he states determinedly and closes his eyes when another cough interrupts him. He’s not exactly sure how long he can stay awake, feeling his whole body and especially his lungs, giving up on him, his heart was beating so fast, it was the only thing he could hear in his ears, drumming loudly but not in a stubborn way, more like in a I’m about to give up way ”You’ll be okay.”

“No, we won’t!” he feels her hands on the sides of his face and when he looks up he feels her lean dangerously close. God, she was so beautiful in this moment. 

At the back of his head he thought how he should be able to tell her that now, especially if he doesn’t make it, but somehow he swallows hard and just keeps looking at her, wanting to keep this imagine in his mind even if he closes his eyes and never opens them again.

”They need you, they look up to you and I-” she shakes her head and bites back her own tears. He was a stubborn idiot, but he was her stubborn idiot, her goddamn annoying co-leader, her jackass to scold and rant to. ”You know I need you too” and yes he did. He looks up and in her eyes he finds exactly what she’s thinking-that moment when their backs were leaning on the trunk of the tree, with Dax’s body sprayed dead laying in their feet. 

Before he can respond, though, he’s shaken by yet another cough and this time when he closes his eyes, he knows he’ll soon lose consciousness. 

“My sister” he says seriously and grabs at her hand a little too desperately ”I need you to tell her that I love her” he manages to utter with some last strength but instead of confirming he finds her shaking her head stubbornly at him, a look in her eyes suggesting she’s not agreeing with his words.

“You tell her yourself!” she demands and he smiles.

“Stubborn princess” are the last words he utters before his head lolls lifelessly in her hands and he feels himself drown in darkness. 

Somewhere at the back of his mind he registers her calling his name, begging him not to fall asleep and though he wants to do this for her, his body just refuses to comply. 

The last thing he feels, is something soft tickling his cheek and he knows it must be her hair, and then something wet and cold falls on his forehead-it feels like rain, like water, like a breath he so desperately needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next time he wakes up, is to Clarke shoving something that seemed like those smoking pipes the sailors had in the old books and he tries to move his head away, but someone else holds his head in place and he breaths in from the smoke. 

At first it makes him cough it out, as if on instinct because his lungs are sore and as heavy as they’ve ever been, but then he feels Clarke’s cold hands on his face again and her determined eyes begging him to listen.

“You have to keep it in okay?” she explains ”It will help with your breathing, I promise” he struggles when he breaths from the smoke once more but he tries complying ”I know it hurts, but it’s going to help.”

They repeat it a few more times until another coughing bout interrupts him and when he’s done and back on laying on the pile of pillows behind him, he registers Octavia and Lincoln looking down at him from behind Clarke.

“What-” he wonders how much time has it been since he passed out and if everything’s okay with the others but he’s quickly shushed, this time by his sister, who presses a wet rag to his forehead ”What happened?”

“You lost consciousness” Clarke explains and he watches Lincoln pass her by a metal cup of what seemed to be something nasty and liquid judging by the smell of it that hits his nose the moment it comes to a close proximity ”Lincoln brought you all the plants and herbs that should help you get better soon. He saved your life.”

“Thanks” he manages to utter when he meets Lincoln’s eyes. He seems uncomfortable to be here, not exactly sure what to do considering he and Bellamy had achieved a truce but weren’t exactly best friends.

“Feeling better, brother?” his sister asks after giving him a quick kiss on the cheek ”You scared the hell out of us.”

“I’m fine, O” he promises, squeezing her hand back, but noticing Clarke tense next to him at the same time. ”You look tired.”

“We spent the night here, helping Clarke out” Octavia explains and throws the blond a grateful look ”She was so angry, she wanted to kick the smoke out of your lungs.”

“I bet she wants to kick me too” he jokes and that finally breaks a smile from Clarke who seems still way too nervous for his own liking. 

She suggest that she stays with him while Lincoln takes Octavia to get some rest and after a fifteen-minute long fight that exhaust the hell out of Bellamy, his sister begrudgingly agrees. 

Then he’s suddenly left with no one else but Clarke, stirring some kind of herbs in a wooden bowl and furrowing her eyebrows angrily while doing so, as if that particular bowl was the reason for all her problems.

“You know you’re gonna break this thing if you keep it like that” he tries to light up the mood a little, but she won’t have it. 

She looks exhausted, the dark circles under her eyes were probably bigger than Bellamy’s right now and her hands though strong and determined to complete their task, were shaking a little. 

Her bun was no longer tight, a few strands fell down near her pale cheeks and he noticed her shirt was still stained with blood. “Probably my own blood” he thinks as he stretches his good arm and grabs her wrist.

”Hey, princess” he says gently and she stops stirring, but doesn’t face him right away ”What is it? Why are you so angry?”

“You can’t do this!” she suddenly snaps back after taking a second to seemingly compose herself which is an utter failure on her behalf.

“Can’t do what?” he continues, still carefully, softly, knowing that yes, on the one hand he was in big ass trouble with her but on the other realizing completely that she was on the verge of breaking down.

“Pass out on me like that!” she huffs as if annoyed that he doesn’t understand and she finally meets his confused eyes.

”Bellamy, I-I almost lost you last night” her voice finally breaks and he pulls at her hand, urging her to come closer ”I had no idea how to fix you and I was so helpless! I couldn’t do anything. You needed medicine, real medicine and oxygen and you keep telling me that I’m the person who will save these kids and help them survive but I don’t even have a stethoscope to listen to your fucking lungs!” she blurts out and finally the first tear rolls down her eyes ”You saved everyone and I couldn’t save you!”

“Hey, hey, hey” he tries calming her down as he pulls her closer to him ”it’s okay, princess, it’s alright.”

“No, it’s not. I’m not good enough!”

“Yes, you are! You are, Clarke, look at me” he picks up her chin this time and brushes away a tear with his calloused thumb ”You’re doing the best you can.” she shakes her head stubbornly, refusing to accept his words but he stubbornly persists

”Who helped us survive the winter huh?” he asks next trying to prove his point ”Who stayed awake for days on end to monitor Monroe’s cough or to make sure Jasper’s fingers didn’t fall off after that godawful night guard shift? Who held Miller’s hand when I carried him home with bleeding out after that hunting trip gone wrong? Who gave my sister tea and brushed the sweat from her forehead? It was all you, princess!”

She bites her lips and lets the tears stream down. His heart clenches at the sight of her and he pulls her to his chest despite the fact that it still feels way too heavy. Her tears soak the bandage wrapped from his shoulder and across his chest and he strokes her hair for a while before he starts coughing again.

She gets up and goes back to her doctor mode so fast he wants to laugh, but he suppresses it, knowing it will just piss her off more and it’s not like he doesn’t do it because he enjoys it but after her breaking down, his heart can’t give in into this selfish assholish part of him that just screams “Push her away”. He doesn’t want to push her away.

On the contrary, when he helps him drink the tea and changes his bandages, he lets himself enjoy her touch. 

For now, he can let his guard down, he can show himself to be vulnerable and in pain, he can spare a few minutes of someone seeing him for the person that he is, because quite honestly that fire gave him another perspective-it made him realize that if he dies, he doesn’t want everyone else to see him as a rude grumpy annoying selfish leader. 

He wants them to see him for the person that he is-a person who loves all of them and would do anything to make sure they are okay. He wishes for them to know, he cares and that he’s not an ass…most of the time. 

He hopes that if he dies, they would remember him in a way that’s not causing dread and fear, but laugh and light chuckles.

So he lets it slide now and he listens to Clarke talk or brush the sweat from his forehead and run her fingers through his hair after a bad coughing bout. 

With a smile, before he loses consciousness, he thinks about how he has the next few days, maybe even the entire week to tease her, for she indeed didn’t have a stethoscope and would have to press her ear to his chest and his loudly beating heart and he could tease her all about the blush creeping up her cheeks or the way her hands shook sometimes when they touched his back all the while thinking how beautiful she is like that.


	2. Tickling sensations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As promised, part two of this fic, this one is more fluffy...I guess. Kudos and comments are much appreciated!

On the second day, his sister and Lincoln took off on Clarke’s orders so they can talk to Nyko and ask for help to replenish some of the medical supplies she needed for the kids and Bellamy, since everything burnt in the fire. 

He’s kind of relieved to see Octavia go, knowing it will do her some good since she spent most of the time by his bed, worrying and wincing every time he coughed, which was a lot and he knew she needed the distraction. 

Clarke reassured her she’ll keep him in check as if he was a five-year-old with no self-control and he got to enjoy her company most of the time, even though he slept through the better half of the day as the night was harder for him. 

For some reason he coughed more when the sun went down and wouldn’t stop till he literally passed out from exhaustion early in the morning. 

Somehow, he believed that he’d be all up and running in just a few days, but he was wrong and Clarke could see it was taking it’s toll on him despite his annoying behavior. 

He wasn’t made to sit around and do nothing, even when he felt so bad. 

He wanted to be up, boss the kids around, make sure that they had everything they need and every morning before she went out to start off the day with the help of Miller now that Bellamy was sick, he kept nagging her about the hunting parties, fixing the south side of the gate, bringing water, making sure they clean up the remains of the fire-he drove her up the wall to the point where she lost her nerves on him one morning and stormed off his tent ready to rage hell.

He was angry with her, but he knew she was exhausted so her behavior was partly due to that-she’s barely slept for more than a few hours and since the sick kids were moved to her tent until they rebuilt the medbay, he wasn’t sure she even had somewhere to sleep. 

Moreover, he did realize, maybe with a little help from Miller who came by to check on him all the time when she wasn’t there (probably on her orders), that he wasn’t making it easy for her.

When on the third day after the fire, he woke up to find her asleep on the chair next to him, her head titled back, her mouth open and her drooling in this cute adorable way, he smiled at first.

She was beautiful, so damn beautiful, he thought and tried to shove it at the back of his mind-he wasn’t really supposed to be thinking any of those stuff. 

Especially not about Clarke Griffin. 

And then when he stared at her for a few more minutes, he realized something else-yes, she was beautiful, but god, she was exhausted. 

The dark circles under her eyes were quite honestly frightening and the stupid princess was dressed in nothing but her shirt, didn’t even have a jacket on, which made her entire body shake a little involuntary even like that in her sleep-the weather was still more or less cold and she was freezing.

Stupid princess. 

Stupid stubborn princess, he thought as he raised himself up and tried to take a deep breath.

It still hurt, god it hurt so much more than he was willing to admit and he tried to suppress a cough as he stood up a little wobbly on his feet. He had to grab the bedside to steady himself but he made it and he carefully leaned down to shake her shoulder.

“Clarke” he whispered, realizing fully that it was the crack of dawn, he could hear the camp waking up, kids were already moving outside, probably carrying water or preparing breakfast

”Clarke, come on, wake up, princess!” her eyes moved in the direction of his voice and her eyebrows furrowed. 

She briefly looked up and murmured something but then her head fell to the side again and she even snored a little. (in this adorable cute way again, not that he was paying attention)

Fuck. 

She wasn’t just exhausted. She has literally passed out from spending days on her feet. 

“Damn it” he uttered and drew his hand over his face as he tried to gather his thoughts. 

He couldn’t carry her back to her tent, not in this condition, though he knew if he tried, he could pull it off but he didn’t want to face her rage later on when she yelled at him for ruining the bandage on his shoulder or straining himself when all he had to do was lay down. 

Plus, he wasn’t sure she’d even have somewhere to lay down there. 

He turned back to his cot-well that was definitely an option. 

It was big enough and all he had to do was carefully pick her up and lay her there-he had a bunch of extra blankets brought on by his sister and even a pillow that they used to push behind his back so his body could be up and he could breath easily. 

He quickly fixed up a spot for her and turned back, smiling at her adorable drooling for a second.

It was something different in seeing her like that- so vulnerable, so peaceful. 

She wasn’t pouting at him and crossing her arms over her chest, angry at yet another decision he had made, she wasn’t desperately fighting for someone’s life, she wasn’t thinking over how to make sure they survive the day. No, it was just her-a really exhausted eighteen year old girl.

“Come on now” he carefully slipped his arm on her back and under her knees and she stirred at the movement but apparently not enough to wake up fully.

“Bellamy?” she murmured under her nose in question and he bit back both the pain in his arm and a cough so he wouldn’t make too much nose.

“Shh, princess, it’s okay” he whispered when he finally placed her down and pulled up not one but two blankets over her. 

She quickly turned with her back to him and nuzzled her head in the pillow like a little kid who spent an entire day running around and finally passed out from exhaustion. 

Only in her case, it was days without any rest whatsoever.

He contemplated going back to bed because he did feel really weak all of a sudden but he was fully awake despite the pain. 

Moreover, if he stayed here he’d only start coughing too much and probably wake her up, so he grabbed the jacket from the chair and carefully slipped it over his shoulders.

He could take the time to check up on the kids without Clarke nagging him or scolding him to go back to bed.

Once he makes it outside, he finds that the camp is indeed more or less awake even though the kids running around carrying wood or water were barely dragging their bodies and kept yawning or sighing as if they carried the world on their shoulders.

“Bellamy!” he hears his name called and soon finds Miller right by his side. 

Unlike the rest of them he was wide awake and operating on full speed already, though judging by the circles under his eyes, Bellamy could see that his absence was taking it’s toll on his friend as well. A pang of guilt settled in his stomach but he tried to smile back.

”What are you doing outside? Clarke said you shouldn’t be up.”

“I’m alright” he tries to reassure ”Princess is not the boss of me.”

“Where is she?” Miller asks looking around, his eyes settling on her tent where the sick kids still were.

“Passed out inside” Bellamy gestured behind ”She’s exhausted, needs to catch up on her sleep.” a bout of cough interrupts him out of nowhere and he takes another few minutes to stop. 

A few of the kids passing by give him worried looks but he shoots them scary glances and shuts them up before they can even think of saying anything.

“You sure you can be outside? Maybe I should help you?” Miller starts but Bellamy cuts him off.

“I told you I’m fine, Miller.” he starts moving forward, towards the kitchen, even if a little more slow than he’d like.

”Now tell me all I need to know” he orders and Miller sighs as he more or less starts briefing him about the camp matters. 

They stand in line for breakfast while Bellamy orders him what to do about the hunting party and who to take with him. Then he quickly distributes the work that has to be done among the kids, a task that clearly Miller had troubles with, so he knew he had to take those decisions off his shoulders. 

He picked the kids who had to go to the river for more water, helped Nathan with setting up the guard shifts for the next tree days, got Monroe and Sterling to help the other girls with the laundry and appointed two people to help Murphy in the kitchen.

It was quite easy for the camp to dissolve in a complete chaos with him being bedridden and Clarke struggling to fulfill all tasks on her own, so he knew he had to take care of it, even if he was starting to grow extremely tired with every passing minute. 

Maybe the princess was right, he thought after ordering Harper and Jasper to stick around with the sick kids in Clarke’s tent for the day-he had to take it easy despite his unwillingness to do so. 

Once he was done with more or less most of it and had two plates in hands, he walked back to his tent, but very unfortunately for him, it wasn’t even two seconds after he put the meal on the table that he started coughing his lungs off and this time…this time he couldn’t stop, no matter how hard he tried to hide it away by literally burying his face in his elbow, it was one of those bad bouts when he was barely catching his breath.

Through teary eyes (because yes, he coughed so bad he barely made out what was happening around him), he saw Clarke’s figure rise from the cot.

“I’m fine” he managed to let out in between shaky breaths because he knew she’d go on full panic mode right away.

“Bellamy?” her voice was sleepy and still very hoarse and he was already cursing himself for waking her up ”What are you doing up?” she was sitting up now and when he manage to take a look at her, he realized she looked even more beautiful than before, with her hair sticking in every direction and he eyes blinking rapidly, trying to make sense of her surroundings. 

He had this inner urge to just hug her and push her back down, so he can make sure she rests, but his goddamn cough had ruined it all.

“It’s okay, go back to sleep” he waves if off when he staggers to grab the glass of water, but almost falls in the process, suddenly feeling like the world is spinning. 

He’s pretty sure he’s about to end up on the ground but a small and cold hand, undoubtedly Clarke’s grabs his elbow in the last second and steadies him enough so she can sneak her arm under his and support the weight of his body.

“Why on earth are you up right now? I told you you need to rest!” she doesn’t waste any time scolding him as she starts helping him walk back to his cot ”And when did I even lay down?”

“You didn’t…I put you there” he explains as he struggles to suppress his coughs, again unsuccessful and they have to stop so he can let it all out. 

His entire body is still shaking and he didn’t need Clarke’s diagnosis to hear the awful sound his lungs were producing. 

She shakes her head angrily but she has no idea that right now, he’s the one who’s outraged, not at her, definitely not. 

He’s mad at himself, for waking her up, for fucking this off when he was trying to make sure she gets one nice things after saving his fucking life.

“Still doesn’t answer my first question” she prompts as they start walking again and she soon helps him settle down, while he’s still shaken by loud and quite honestly disgusting coughs-he feels himself sweating and he knows he’s probably awfully unattractive right now. 

Not that it mattered to Clarke-she would never look at him the way he looked at her.

And he had to stop looking at her like that too, he realized.

“Thought I’d grab breakfast” he managed as he took in a sharp breath and tried laying down, but her hand on his elbow kept him steady and with a shook of her head she stopped him.

“Have to change your bandage and check your lungs, okay?” she says softly now, though he can see she’s still pissed off at his behavior.

”Just a few minutes” he nods and his body tenses when she helps him take off his jacket which earns a groan from him when he pulls his burning shoulder back, and then his shirt. 

His chest is half bandaged due to the blisters covering his body from the back of his shoulders down to his arm and even some part of his chest.

“That will leave one hell of a scar” she utters when she slowly takes it off and grabs the cream Nyko gave them from the night stand ”One more way to charm the ladies for you, though.” he chuckles at that but hisses once her hand touches the burned skin ”Sorry.”

“All good, princess” he promises and she shakes her head at that.

“Do you ever say anything else besides I’m fine, Bellamy?” her honest voice surprises him and he raises his eyebrows at her which makes her huff even more annoyed than before ”The world won’t end if you admit you’re in pain, you know.”

“It might.” now that makes he smile and he nudges her with his elbow ”You’re one to talk you know? You were basically passed out on my chair, drooling all over the floor.”

“I’m good. After all, I’m not the one who went in a burning building to save seven people and inhaled so much smoke that I can’t breathe right now.”

“Ha-ha” he joked as another cough interrupted him and she stopped applying the cream on his shoulder and instead squeezed his arm in support while they waited for it to pass away. ”Fuck” he curses once it’s over.

“You need to give your body time to heal, Bellamy” she shakes her head at him, desperate to make him understand ”It’s a miracle you survived, you could’ve suffocated, your heart could’ve given out on you, we barely saved you that night and you want to be up on your feet in two days? It won’t work.”

“How much more time?” she rolls her eyes at this, of course it’s what he’ll ask.

“At least a week to get stronger and two or so before you get rid of the cough.”

“Two weeks?” he half turns to her and almost messes up the bandage she’s just started wrapping up ”Forget it, princess.”

“I’m serious, Bellamy.” she stops for a second ”You can’t just shrug this off. If you’re not careful, you’ll only make it worse.”

“And I am too, princess. Someone needs to take care of camp.”

“That’s what I’m for. Or what? Suddenly I’m not competent enough for you to do this? I’m not smart or strong enough, is that it?” he groans. 

Of course she’d think he doesn’t appreciate her.

“Dammit, princess” he cuts her off and turns to her ”It’s not about strength here. I know well enough how awfully stubborn you are. I know you carry this entire camp on your shoulders, there’s no need to put words in my mouth” she staring at him surprised by his outburst. 

It’s not like they didn’t fight all the time, but now…now it was different. He wasn’t teasing her or disagreeing with her leadership abilities-on the contrary, he was trying to prove a point. A pretty valid one. That, and he was also pretty much still pissed off at his own weakness right now.

”But you can’t exhaust yourself to the point where you are actually delusional.” 

“I’m not-”

“Yes, you are!” he doesn’t let her fight with him on that ”And you can’t go around nagging me for getting in a burning building to save seven people once when you save everyone else in this camp all the time!” she swallows hard and though she wants to respond, she sees he’s struggling to take his breath, he was basically heaving, his cheeks were flushed and he was weak, but god he was pissed off too.

”You take care of everyone but nobody takes care of you and you’re clearly way too irresponsible for that, so I guess I’m gonna be the person to shove plates off food in your hands, cover your shaking shoulders with jackets and push you into cots so you can keep operating on full speed.”

“Bellamy I-” she tries but he won’t have it.

“And if you’re gonna hate me for it, then I’m fine with it!” he turns his back to her again, clearly showing that he’s done with the conversation and she remains there behind him completely stunned for a few minutes. 

He’s never been that straightforward, especially not when it came to her. 

Yes, sure,she’s noticed that he does go around camp pushing food in her hands or sends off kids with extra blankets when the weather sucks too much and always has someone escorting her when outside camp for herb gatherings but…she never really thought he cared like that. 

That he cared _for her._

She thought he was doing it for his own selfish reasons, so she can help around camp or save their asses when they got hurt and sick. 

Truly in her heart, despite their honest conversation after killing Dax, she believed her still despised her and what she came from. 

The way they sometimes fought send them on such opposite directions, they wouldn’t speak for days, but now…after the fire when he took her out first and after this speech, she was sure she was wrong.

“Thank you” she said quietly after wrapping the bandage on the front of his chest and coming to rest her hand over his, staring at it for a few seconds before looking up

”Thank you for keeping me safe. For making sure I’m fine when I don’t.” he swallows hard and looks away, as if embarrassed for baring his soul and pure intentions to her like that. 

She wishes he wouldn’t be like that, building all these walls around him constantly and only letting her take a peak every once in a while, but it’s not like she can change anything. 

Not right now anyway.

”You’re welcome” he clears his throat clearly feeling uncomfortable after his small burst out and she tries to give him a reassuring smile to which he responds only barely before he’s cut off by another cough.

“Sorry, I’m disgusting” he apologizes and she shakes her head at his stupidity. 

Before he knows it, she’s removing the hair from the side of her face and putting it behind her ear so that she can press it to his chest.

“Breathe in!” she orders and he complies while he tries to take in the fact that she’s so close to him once again. 

He thought he’d get to tease her all about it and he was, but he never assumed it would be just as hard for him to keep his emotions in check.

”Does it hurt still?” she asks as she moves to the back and makes him take a few deep breaths again so she can get a clearer picture of his condition.

“Not as much.” he lies but winces a little as he struggles to comply to her orders.

“But it’s still sharp?” he feels her hair tickle his back as she moves her head to the left side of his body.

“A little” he lies again thinking she doesn’t see right through him. He shivers when her hair tickles him again.

“You alright?” she peaks up behind his shoulder, furrowing his eyebrows and he swallows hard as he feels her breath on his face. 

God, she was so close.

“Yeah, just…your hair’s tickling me” she blushes at that and moves away, finally aware of her own proximity to him.

“Sorry” her hand pushes him back in a laying position and he finally lets himself relax. God he had no idea how much he actually needed it.

”I’ll get you some tea to help with the cough and then you can sleep alright?” she doesn’t even wait for him to respond before she’s back up on her feet and he struggles to grab her wrist in the last possible second.

“Wait” he feels that goddamn sharp pain again as he struggles to breathe and she sees it because she settles back down next to him ”The camp’s taken care of. I’ve talked to Miller and assigned the tasks to the kids, they’ll be fine, but you need to sleep.” he nods at the empty place on his cot and her eyes go a little wide.

“What? Here?”

“Well since your tent is full of sick kids and I know for a fact that you don’t have a place to lay down there, then yes, princess, here.” she opens her mouth to protest but it’s like he can read her mind.

”I don’t bite, promise” he gives her his signature smirk and she rolls her eyes at his stupid comments.

“Bellamy, I’ll be fine, plus I have to go and-”

“No, you don’t have to do shit. All you need is sleep, otherwise you’ll pass out from exhaustion and the kids will come crying their asses here over how Clarke freaked the fuck out of them.” he does make a good point and he can see it, judging by the way she’s starting to relent.

”Come on, princess, you’ll be doing me a favor.” she sighs and after a good roll of her eyes and a pretend few seconds of still contemplating over it she gives in.

“Fine! But don’t you try your funny business on me, Blake!”

“Funny business?” he asks surprised as he watches her get up and pour some of the herbal tea she made for him last night in a cup. ”What the hell do you mean by that?”

“Don’t you think I or anyone in camp have forgotten about your famous treesomes. Newsflash: girls gossip, Blake.” she explains when she brings the cup to his lips and helps him take a few sips before settling back on the pillow.

“I hope only good stuff” he jokes while she goes around and plops herself on the other side of the cot, kicking off her books and taking off her jacket as she huffs annoyed.

“You’re unbelievable.” the cot barely moves as she slides under the blankets he had for her and he throws her a look from his side. 

He couldn’t move much, due to the bandages and the fact that whenever he did, either he started coughing or his shoulder protested with a loud sharp pain.

”There are more important things than your sex reputation you know that right?”

“Are there?” he asks in a joking manner and she just shakes her head at him as she turns around with her back to his, pulling up the blankets up her chin ”Anyway…I’m not like that anymore.”

“Hmm?” she’s asks with an already sleepy voice. He knew she’d soon drift off considering how exhausted she was.

“I don’t have treesomes anymore in case you haven’t noticed, princess.” he explains and she takes a peak at him behind her shoulder only to find him staring up and shifting uncomfortably under his own blanket which makes her heart clench-he was still in so much pain and there was barely anything she could do.

“I have” she smiles and turns back to her side, burying her head in her pillow and thinking how yes, he has changed. 

He was still a teasing brat, but he wasn’t the asshole he was at first.

Bellamy glances at her one last time before he closes his own eyes and tries to drift off and ignore the pain as much as he can, well aware of the fact that she’ll know right away if he was uncomfortable and go back to worrying over him. 

Something which he definitely didn’t want. Especially not after convincing her to take the day off in the first place.

In the morning, he wakes up to something warm pressed to his right side and for a second there he wonders if he’d tossed so violently at night again that he made his burns bleed but then something tickles his chest and he opens his eyes to find Clarke Griffin’s head resting over his heart, her arm wrapped over his middle and her mouth open, drooling all over his bandages.

He smiles and relaxes back on his pillow, feeling her shift just barely only to press herself closer to him, and drifts off back into a peaceful and dreamless sleep.


End file.
